Written & Photographed by A Wild Dove
Is there a shortcut to boosting your natural mood?
A trick to shifting your perspective?
When we sat down with Dr. Deepika Chopra and Tinamarie Clark in Manhattan for a conversation with A Wild Dove founder, Lynn Levoy, these questions were top of mind.
LOOKING FORWARD, NOT BACKWARD
“Why is everything in this field related to the past so much if your brain is focused on the future?” Deepika wondered about her previous career in traditional psychotherapy to the group, pointing out that a passion for offering self-mastery tools to the masses helped her pivot to her current act as an optimism doctor and founder of Things Are Looking Up (more on that soon). “I found a lot of holes in what I was offered to use with my clients,” she admits. It’s especially interesting when you take into account her latest research, which proves that since our brains are “anticipatory organs,” moods aren’t based on memories as much as what we are anticipating might happen—right now. “When we have a negative mood, we aren’t able to come up with problem solving, goals, etc,” she notes.
Her brilliant version of flash cards for your mood? Things Are Looking Up offers a deck of 52 opportunities to harness a new skill, tip or trick. Each of the cards has a scientific or holistic prompt or suggestion that actually increases happiness and elevates or shifts your mindset. “A true optimist sees the roadblocks, but they see them as something that’s temporary and something that they have the power to overcome,” says Deepika. “It’s a muscle that needs to be flexed.”
STIR, SHIFT, REPEAT
A model for fifteen years, Tinamarie is quick to point out that this is the first time in her career that she’s being seen for what’s on the inside. She created the Shift Stir Method as a five-step mindfulness method designed to create the shifts that you want in your life.
“I would alter and create chaos in my world by having really bad thoughts that I thought I had no control over,” Tinamarie shares. “My ego has tried to kill me and snuff out so many of my dreams, countless relationships have suffered.” Thanks to a new lifetime of self-help techniques and developing her own Shift Stir Method, she was able to create the kind of real change. It was a serious adjustment that ultimately relinquished control of her moods from the negative thought patterns that had kept her from achieving her purpose—and being the best version of herself as a mother.
Below, her brief of the steps to shift your own perspective:
Stir- recognize you’ve been triggered
Sit- in Communion without reaction for 24 hours
Sift- sift through the thoughts, emotions and reactions that created the stir to begin with
Share- the cornerstone of the method, because when you’re in communion with other women sharing your story and “owning your awful” you realize that you’re not alone and that breeds community and connection and intimacy
Shifting- shift your perception by viewing it differently through what’s been uncovered by working the steps
TINY TIPS TO PROMOTE POSITIVITY
Multitasking is one of the hallmarks for not cultivating happiness. Focus on what you’re doing at the moment. Your time spent with kids, if you’re distracted, is less valuable for their mental health and personal growth than time spent on their own.
Go on something that I call “a happiness hunt,” Can you point something out that’s making you happy? Ask yourself what made you happy today. When you learn from kids, it’s that the smallest things bring them the most happiness.
Cultivate evidence-based manifestation. People are always asking me “How do I manifest?” It’s not about wishing on crystals. You do not always get what you want, but you almost always get what you expect. Our brains are very efficient. Our brains will not kick into gear and force you to make take action anything that you don’t actually expect to happen. Let go of deep-rooted belief systems for why you can’t get what you want. You get what you expect.
Go outside: Research shows that if you spend at least 2 hours of time outdoors a week your stress will decrease, cortisol levels decrease, positive mood increases.
Affirmations are great, but can be detrimental to use a blanket statement affirmation when you do not believe it to be true. If you don’t actually believe it to be true, your brain tells you why you don’t with years of experiences. I come up with the “7 to 10 Rule.” If you believe something 7 out of 10, use it. If not, you’re not ready for it.
When something shifts your mood, just sit. Whether it’s an interaction with a colleague that doesn’t sit right or an email that you’re tempted to respond to with attitude. There’s something that happens when you allow yourself to sit and not react. The universe reveals itself and changes things. Just sit. Something will happen.
I’m very interested in the YOU in the universe. A really good thing to do is, after you have manifested something or something has come true because you have worked really hard, go home and focus on the thing that you created. Going onto the next “want” is not cultivating a joyful life.
